8th July – Rehearsal

Rohan: I think Wales is Dark Souls

Rohan: Oh no, I’ve ruined all my safe places

Beth: Yay! I caught something that wasn’t flu!

Kate: 10/Goose

Bryony: Beth, in a parallel universe Mr Chunky isnt dead
Kate: its Pete’s house
Bryony: Yes. This universe. In this universe Mr Chunky is both dead and alive
Kate: It’s Schrödinger’s chunky!

Japanese Jake and Cock Slavering Kate

Rohan: I support fascism high five

Jake: He’s up shit cook without a spwaddle


6th July – Rehearsals

Laura: What are men doing in their pants? I don’t understand!

Rohan: why is this wool so negative?

Rohan: I do love wool!

Connor: I’ll fuck a horse but I won’t vote UKIP!s

Beth: Rohan, why are you in the shetland islands?

Kate: Connor turned into three children


Laura: He goin’ be so mad when he realise he aint go’in get no 99

Connor: I’ll put it in my walking money pouch
Kate: its a pocket mate


Pete:  I take a lot of criticism about my penis, but it would be enough to kill a bee

5th July – Rehearsal

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Beth: I drank a whole five marajuana one time.

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Pete: Oh! a cup! Now I don’t have to bring out the whole bottle!

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Connor: I’m not logged in on bigoldjewishwhore.com

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Connor: I’m not surprised by cups anymore

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Pete: Oh shit! She’s got me! I am a bee!

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Pete: We’re friends but I won’t let my boyfriend dress as a horse to titilate you!

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Rohan: Listen, land mammal!
Pete: hes not a land mammal! Hes a flightless bird!

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Pete: be kind to her. be really kind to her, in any orafice

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Kate: He studies Biology and Religion! Let him throw a lettuce on Christ!
Dan: Yeah… studying his height in footlongs. He’s 5 hearty italians long, can’t be him.


Dan: I can’t come out, I’m touching ham!

My first rehearsal

Connor: That’s not a sleeping dinosaur, that’s just cleavage.

Pete: We should all be proud of our bed wanking!

Rohan: Don’t worry Pete, I support your lies

Pete: I just believe in a world thats slightly more fun.

Bryony: Oh why are you in japanese?

Pete: Firstly, can you imagine how much latex I would need for a gimp suit?

Beth: its getting difficult to ensure this fourth wall

Connor: I’m a huge hitler fan

Connor: I feel it in my fingers – I feel it in my balls –
Rohan: It’s chla-myd-i-aaaaaa!

Pete: Go on then! Try and sue me!

Kate: You now play Ashtray Number 1

Pete: (muttering about women) Fucking suffragettes – ruined that horse race –

Kate: I was helms deep in your momma last night


Pete: Oh, not chunky! He ate the most!

Connor: I don’t want to have a lower half!

Pete: If I could have any job in the world I’d be a stallion
Kate: What?
Pete: It’s the best job – right?
Kate: What, getting wanked off in a shed for the rest of your life?


Pete: When do you think the suffragettes were?
Connor: Last week, right?
Rohan: Yeah, we’ren’t they playing Iceland yesterday?